Kurupt FM are virtually living legends.
Keeping the UK garage flame burning in their native Brentford, the crew's pirate activities are one step ahead of the law and two steps ahead of the competition.
Matching their air-wave domination to some mean parties, the Kurupt FM massive have spent the summer on the road.
Soaking up new music along the way, DJ Beats volunteered to take control of the Clash singles column.
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Aston Merrygold - 'Get Stupid'
This guy needs to go for a long walk and work some things out. How can he start his video off in Westfields? I can't even listen to this to be honest, it's a violation. He's like Bruno Mars but even worse... with a house raver haircut. Turn it off.
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Dappy - '100 (Built For This)'
It's a shame cos Dappy's actually quite a good spitter when he wants to be, my mate Alfie Danger used to go back to back with him on a station in Camden and he said he's got bars. I think the main problem here is that he sings too much instead of MCing.
Obviously singing is alright every now and then – Grindah lets me do a bit of harmonising sometimes on our sets – but you have to know where to draw the line. Don't sing over the whole thing otherwise you'll ruin it.
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Disclosure ft Gregory Porter - 'Holding On'
Finally something with a bit of a beat and a bassline. I don't really like any music without bass to be honest. This is alright to be fair, bit too housey but not enough that I want to instantly destroy it. Could do with an MC over it instead of some random singer brear called Greg but yeah... they've done alright...
Obviously Grindah still wouldn't allow this to be played at Kurupt FM but I could imagine me and Craig listening to this in the car when he takes me to McDonalds' drive-thru.
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The Chemical Brothers ft Q-Tip - 'Go'
Quite weird. That brear from 'Breath And Stop' is alright but the beat needs to be a bit more two step, can't really jam in the whip to this. The chorus is like an 80's sci-fi film and it doesn't even make sense, cos why would they come somewhere just to make everyone "go"? Surely they'd only go if they weren't having a good time or they didn't like the music? I think they've not really thought that one through.
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Jeremih ft Flo Rida - 'Tonight Belongs To U!'
One of those disgusting Ibiza Weekender with Suspicious Parents type tunes. Loads of vest wearing gym brears with fake tans and protein shakes going mental and getting sleeve tattoos on the way home after a tear up outside the club. Allow it. Go home, chill out, put some bigger shorts on. No-one cares about your 25 selfies of you on a sun bed.
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John Newman - 'Come And Get It'
Never play me any music with whistling in. Turn this off. I refuse to listen to this. It's disgusting.
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Martin Solveig & GTA - 'Intoxicated'
Roche's been showing me these old MCs called the Pet Shop Boys, they're actually alright. This has got a similar vibe but a bit more modern and sortof Euro house style... basically music aimed at Italian brears with rat tails and open shirts driving convertible Golfs.
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Maverick Sabre – 'Walk Into The Sun'
Not too sure on this one to be honest sounds a bit like the theme tune from Madagascar. He's got quite a good fast flow to be fair – be good to hear him on a garage beat. Might see if he'd be up for coming down to the station one day. Get him on the right set and I reckon he'd probably do alright.
Maybe he could do some vocals on DJ Fantasy's Ladies Fantasy Hour. I reckon they'd go mental for that... You lot got a number for him actually?
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Catch DJ Beats at MADE Birmingham on July 25th - full details.